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The Emotional backpack

Surely…, like most people, you felts at some point in your life a mixture of rage, pain, disappointment, ager and frustration with your partner or other close person who is important to you. But, instead of communicating your anger an pain you have saved and that caused you resentment toward that person.

I propose an assignment for you. Get a backpack and put on it a potato for each person that you keep resentments and for one week carry that backpack with you everywhere. You have to be very aware not to let it anywhere or lose it. You will notice that the potatoes will spoil and eventually will stink. You will feel uncomfortable taking that heavy and stinky backpack everywhere. 

Some people, maybe you are one of them, have stinky potatoes in their emotional backpack and they are paying a big price for something from the past. As we know the past is gone and we cannot do anything to changed. Your are wasting your time thinking that would have been better of different if that person would not have done what he/she did to you. I ask you, change anything? You build an emotional wall that takes you to a pond of personal growth with your life. Often, that attitude will prevent you to trust.

What do you accomplish? Do you change something? You stop taking decisions due to that feeling and in moments of loneliness you find yourself checking the facts, and you are filled with pain and rage ruining this moment of tranquility and peace. I ask you? How long you dedicate your life to that suffering? Telling yourself: “ That guilty who hurt me so much!” What you want is that person feels the pain that you feel. You keep suffering and the other person, sometimes Is not even aware and if it does perhaps already have enough with their pain, with their own bitterness.

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The lack of forgiveness is a powerful feeling that eats away at us everyday and at the end we lose ourselves and we end up hating ourselves.   

Sometimes, we refuse to forgive because we think that forgiveness is a gift we give to the other person, but really is the best gift that we give to ourselves, because who benefit the most are us. To forgive someone does not mean that you justify, approve, excuse the behavior of the other person or that you will reconcile or forget what the person made you. No, there are wounds that are nor forgotten! Forgiveness rid of pain to get on with your life and when you think about the person or situation that caused you harm, you will feel sad and perhaps even you will cry. But, you will not feel that mixture of anger, pain and frustration you felt before. 

Admit that you are resentful, identify the cause of your resentment and start your forgiveness process. You will feel free and you can say goodbye to that repressed resentment.  

About the author
Uberto Mondolfi
Author: Uberto MondolfiWebsite: www.ubertomondolfi.com
Chairman and Managing Partner. Clinical Director.
MS, NCGC-II, NCC, MCAP
Mr. Mondolfi is in charge of development and implementation of our clinical program. In addition, he is our Primary Therapist and responsible for client psychotherapeutic services.

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